Little Miss hates birthdays ...

So, I just quit my job of nearly 8 years about a week ago. Then, out of the blue, my old manager texts me asking to return my uniforms. I thought, "Hey, they must remember my birthday's tomorrow!" Surely, they don't actually want my worn-out, smelly uniforms back. They must be planning a surprise!" So, I got my son and myself ready and headed over to my old job.

I walked into the office with a big smile, expecting something special. But guess what? There was NO surprise. No balloons. No cake. Not even a damn 99-cent birthday card. I handed over the uniform and left, grateful that no one knew what I had hoped for or how disappointed I felt.

Birthdays have always been a celebration for me. A small celebration mainly put together by my mother. She's the closet person in the world to me, and always the only person in attendance at my birthday parties.

I'm turning 28 years old this year. And the feeling of being lonely continues. I'm not having a nice birthday dinner with fancy dresses, heels and lamb chops. I'm not going out with my homegirls getting margarita wasted. You have to have homegirls to do that, right? I didn't get myself anything and I don't expect any gifts either. Honestly, I wanted to forget it was even my birthday. That way when everyone else forgot, it wouldn't matter.

For my last two birthdays, I celebrated with my boyfriend, who’s also the father of my child. It was just the two of us, but he made me feel special. There were roses, cupcakes, gifts, and sweet kisses. I felt like the most important person in the world. But this year, things are different. We hardly talk, and when he's around, he doesn't touch me, kiss me, or make love to me. This birthday, I have to face the reality that my boyfriend isn’t in love with me anymore.

It's like, if I were to disappear right now, no one would even notice. No one would care. No one would come looking for me.

It's tough to accept, but I'm just getting by, not really living, and there's no one around to give me a hug. No one to wipe my tears and reassure me that everything's going to be alright. I need someone to show me that they still care about me. I need a reminder that my life didn't come to a halt when I had my son. Sure, things could be worse, but my pain and struggles are still real and valid.

This isn't a pity party; it's more like an SOS. I'm trying to raise awareness about how lonely people can feel. The sadness and depression that comes with it. Hopefully, it'll encourage you to reach out to someone, check in on loved ones and old friends. Maybe, just maybe, I can help someone feel a little less lonely. And maybe, just maybe, I can build a community here that would make me feel less lonely too.