The beginning of the "Little Miss" Series - Little Miss Sad Girl.

I use to worry about being the sad friend. The person who you call and they never seem to be happy about anything. Always crying. Always complaining. Always gloomy about .. something. I would fake a smile. I would try to make a joke of my problems, thinking humor would mask my sorrows. But honestly, fuck that. I am the sad friend. And I have alot to be sad about.

I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD in 2019. I didnt know what that was at the time but it stands for 'General Anxeity Disorder' and 'Major Depression Disorder'. I was always a very anxious child, so the first one made alot of sense, but major depression disorder? It was hard to wrap my head around it. I mean yes, I got sad and listened to sad music like a typical girl ... yes i would lay in bed all day if i could and cry and not change my clothes and not want to brush my teeth or shower or .... ok. Maybe that diagnosis was more than apporiate.

I've always dealt with this battle alone. None of my friends, that I had at the time, knew how bad my depression could get. And the older I got .. the worse the depression became.

Here I am, 27 years old more depressed than I've ever been. It seems to me that after I gave birth to my first child motherhood has brought me down to my lowest point.